But I also need fiction writing to help me understand society and human behaviour better (especially behaviour of masses). Most of the time this stuff puzzles me so much, I have to ask ChatGPT to help me figure out why humans are so illogical 90% of the time.
But a machine can't explain people to me.
And so what's left is storytelling. Why do some people fall into depression when others with the same experiences, and the same social and financial background, thrive? What drives a serial killer? What drives a saint? Why do women and marginalised people STILL have to fight for equal opportunities and rights? Why are so many people scared of minorities? Why does fear so often turn into hate, and not into trying to understand that fear?
That's just to give you a tiny glimpse of what's bouncing around in my skull when I'm trying to get shit done or trying to sleep. There are thousands of stories in each of these questions - plenty of opportunity to jump from one thing to another to another, and never get anything figured out.
Or any chapter written.
Or catch a good night's sleep.
Learning to accept that this is how my brain is wired and that it will never be "normal," will take a lot of patience and forgiveness.
Until next time,
